It may come as a shock to some readers to know that my mom has re-married. I know it would have come as a shock to me had she not called me a few days before to let me know that they’d decided to do it. That announcement was the shocker.
Both she and her beau (I mean husband) Tom enjoyed each other’s company and they’d been together for a while, but they had also both exclaimed their intent never to re-marry. Not to each other, not to anyone else. It just wasn’t part of their plans.
But, as is often the case, something changed. In this case, it was cancer. Tom had survived cancer before, and had been years without it. But it returned. Or a new one came. Regardless, he has been diagnosed with stage 4, terminal lung cancer. The cancer cells range from lung to kidney and Tom’s been given 6 to 12 months to live.
My mom’s been through a lot. She lost her best, life-long friend to brain cancer about 15 years ago. She lost her mom this spring. Now, she’s preparing to lose her husband.
It makes sense to me that they’d marry now. The proximity of impending death has got to bring a wellspring of emotion. And, of course, it will be much easier for her as a spouse rather than a “girlfriend” for her to be there for him in the hospital and even make critical decisions on his behalf if he’s unable to do so.
But, of course, it’s also a little strange for me at least. I now have another step-parent. I have step siblings I’ve never even met.
I can’t wait to take my mom on some of the hikes around here, like the one pictured in the banner above. But I’m saddened too, because almost certainly by the time she comes out here, she’ll be a widow.
Congratulations Eve Capehart and Tom Murray — Married Nov. 07, 2006.